Saturday, January 19, 2008

Some Things Never Change (a song)

I don't pretend to understand how my marriage unraveled over the years, but it did. I was thinking about that today and feeling another wave of grief. Grieving is such a strange process, hitting you at the most random times and when you least expect it.

Some Things Never Change

Some things never change
and some things do,
that's what I was whispering
the day I left you.

My heart still breaks sometimes
and I love you still,
Some things never change
and some things will.

When we first fell into this
and I was your girl,
gifts you gave to me so well,
the music in your world.

As time ran hurriedly by
we sang the saddest lullaby.
Some things never change
and some things do.

Over all that time,
no reason and no rhyme,
what was once so sublime
turned bittersweet.
The tears began to fall,
the flood broke every wall,
some things never change
and some things do.

Dust has settled down,
I see so clearly now
where I went so wrong
where I'm to blame.
Lessons to have learned,
into whispered memory burned,
some things never change
and some things do.

I Watch You Breathe (a song)

I rarely find the words to talk about my son. All of them seem so inadequate. This song sang itself to me on a bus from Logan Airport the other day and I was grateful for it.

I Watch You Breathe

I held you when you could not walk
I held you when you could not see
I watched you learn to crawl
and hoped you'd be what you could be

Never felt joy so shimmering gold
as when you smiled at me
in the night when I couldn't sleep
I would watch you breathe

Someone knew what they were doing
when I was handed you
you're the colors of the rainbow
the world in those eyes bright blue

And I know I'll never get this right
I can only try
my gold statue might never come,
but I sang the world's best lullaby

Can I teach you all the things
you need to live in peace?
Let your heart fly south for winter's warmth
like a thousand dark gray geese

I never feel a joy so shining gold
as when you laugh with me
and when I can not sleep at night
I still watch you breathe

Yes, when I want the world to stop
I still watch you breathe.