Monday, January 15, 2007

Blood-Borne Wondering

A woman's work in relationship is to wonder. A man's work is to walk on, and woman may accompany, or she may not. . .but stop for her he surely won't. She can wonder where they are going together, or wonder if she wants to go (though most women don't adequately consider her man's purpose and journey before signing on.)

The wondering lies deep within our blood, some flotsam of times past when we couldn't fend for ourselves, or could, but needed a seed to be planted in order to survive, literally survive . . .perhaps the purpose of the wondering is lost, and it would better serve now to Still and Be, rather than to be tormented by the blood-borne Wondering. . .but it's still there, and better to face it than to not. There is some relief in the Facing.

Some days the Being feels so difficult, and the Wondering feels so painful. With skill, we can reverse blood, and live in something far more indelible than instinct. We can live in Now and rest in The connection. Sweet relief, sweeter than most any feeling in this life, and a sweetness surpassing even the most intimate, soul-scorching kiss, weelll, maybe.

If a woman's wondering is an illness, then Presence is the only innoculation. It's most certainly a dis-ease, this Wondering. And Ease is what comes to us when we rest long enough for it to find us.

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