Winter was long,
the icy nights, dark.
From the top of the tree
into which I'd climbed,
I saw--
the hint of light.
Squinting into the black,
I climbed down,
stumbling in your direction.
Nearer it seemed,
as the winds swirled in my heart
and the scent of love,
came to me on the early spring breeze.
At once, the rain and sun
broke
into my empty spaces
and filled me with white again.
Ancient songs called,
ancient rhythms repeated,
a whisper in obsidian --
the light of a thousand lanterns,
was lit for me that day.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Bind Your Wounds (A song)
Why are any two brought together,
to learn to sail seas in stormy weather,
to be a salve on badly wounded hearts,
to pray again for second starts.
Chorus:
I will be your light, will you be mine,
when I can't find the reason or the rhyme?
I'll be there to whisper who you are,
hold you up to touch the furthest star,
rebuild your ancient solitary ruins,
hold you tight enough to bind your wounds.
Light shines from within and then shines through
passes golden grace, my heart to you,
but no one ever knows the reasons why
when two sparks touch, light silver winter's sky.
Chorus:
I will be your light, will you be mine,
when I can't find the reason or the rhyme?
I'll be there to whisper who you are,
hold you up to touch the furthest star,
rebuild your ancient solitary ruins,
hold you tight enough to bind your wounds.
to learn to sail seas in stormy weather,
to be a salve on badly wounded hearts,
to pray again for second starts.
Chorus:
I will be your light, will you be mine,
when I can't find the reason or the rhyme?
I'll be there to whisper who you are,
hold you up to touch the furthest star,
rebuild your ancient solitary ruins,
hold you tight enough to bind your wounds.
Light shines from within and then shines through
passes golden grace, my heart to you,
but no one ever knows the reasons why
when two sparks touch, light silver winter's sky.
Chorus:
I will be your light, will you be mine,
when I can't find the reason or the rhyme?
I'll be there to whisper who you are,
hold you up to touch the furthest star,
rebuild your ancient solitary ruins,
hold you tight enough to bind your wounds.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Mermaid's Heart (a poem)
In the depths of
a mermaid's heart
lives longing--
shimmering and brilliant,
silver moonbeams on black night water.
In the depths of
a mermaid's heart
lives passion--
furious and sweet,
red tide on black night water.
In the depths of
a mermaid's heart
lives laughter--
bubbling and dancing,
green frothy foam on black night water.
In the depths of
a mermaid's heart
lives love--
strong and tender,
driving white rain and mist on black night water.
In the depths of
a mermaid's heart
lives peace--
vast and star-filled,
indigo sky over black night water.
a mermaid's heart
lives longing--
shimmering and brilliant,
silver moonbeams on black night water.
In the depths of
a mermaid's heart
lives passion--
furious and sweet,
red tide on black night water.
In the depths of
a mermaid's heart
lives laughter--
bubbling and dancing,
green frothy foam on black night water.
In the depths of
a mermaid's heart
lives love--
strong and tender,
driving white rain and mist on black night water.
In the depths of
a mermaid's heart
lives peace--
vast and star-filled,
indigo sky over black night water.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Little Souls Fly (a song)
Who built the cell
which once contained the heart
of the two
who joined to create one life?
How many bricks it took
and how heart's trembling shook
the walls,
until they came tumbling down.
Was there some Great Plan,
is it all in larger hands?
how can this
serve the Light now?
Pain from far away,
and from long ago,
pain built this prison,
while we watched in disbelief.
Chorus:
But little souls fly free,
no matter how the weight
of the world
tries
to keep them tethered to earth.
And little souls dream,
no matter how things seem
so dark before the light begins to shine.
Little souls know,
because they are so close
to the place we all come from.
Little souls will, always reach their sky,
because--little souls fly.
We each might have
stopped this jail's construction,
but now destruction
falls on those we created.
The only way to move ahead,
and to leave this prison bed,
is to hold the light
so little souls don't lose sight,
that though created
within those walls,
it's not from us their freedom falls,
love gives them wings.
If we buy our freedom
with olive branch instead of sword,
sign the treaty, no more war,
peace gives them strength to soar.
Chorus:
Little souls fly
no matter how the weight
of the world
tries
to keep them tethered to earth.
And little souls dream
no matter how things seem
so dark before the light shines.
Little souls know
because they are so close
to the place we all come from.
Little souls will, always reach their sky
because----little souls fly.
which once contained the heart
of the two
who joined to create one life?
How many bricks it took
and how heart's trembling shook
the walls,
until they came tumbling down.
Was there some Great Plan,
is it all in larger hands?
how can this
serve the Light now?
Pain from far away,
and from long ago,
pain built this prison,
while we watched in disbelief.
Chorus:
But little souls fly free,
no matter how the weight
of the world
tries
to keep them tethered to earth.
And little souls dream,
no matter how things seem
so dark before the light begins to shine.
Little souls know,
because they are so close
to the place we all come from.
Little souls will, always reach their sky,
because--little souls fly.
We each might have
stopped this jail's construction,
but now destruction
falls on those we created.
The only way to move ahead,
and to leave this prison bed,
is to hold the light
so little souls don't lose sight,
that though created
within those walls,
it's not from us their freedom falls,
love gives them wings.
If we buy our freedom
with olive branch instead of sword,
sign the treaty, no more war,
peace gives them strength to soar.
Chorus:
Little souls fly
no matter how the weight
of the world
tries
to keep them tethered to earth.
And little souls dream
no matter how things seem
so dark before the light shines.
Little souls know
because they are so close
to the place we all come from.
Little souls will, always reach their sky
because----little souls fly.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Ocean's Calling (a poem)
It is so beautiful and amazing to be seen. This poem was written by a new friend. Thank you, David, for this gift.
From the depths of the virtual sea
her liquid voice rose up to me
and I listened in stunned disbelief
to her captivating, lyrical song,
wavering dream-like, as if it came
from lost Atlantis herself.
And as the last notes faded,
her melody played on in my heart.
I gazed into the virtual sea
and saw the dichotomy of her being,
two goddesses in one glorious incarnation:
Athena, defending those in need
with strength and erudite wisdom,
and Aphrodite, born of the sea,
love and beauty personified.
I am set adrift, mesmerized,
as the turquoise tide carries me away.
I am borne into the virtual sea
to where Beauty shimmers.
Is she real, or a heavenly
reflection in this undulating mirror,
poised to flee from those
who dare disturb her visage?
Will my touch meet the one
Fate has destined for me,
or dispel the illusion
of this bitter-sweet dream?
Compelled to know,
I extend my hand ...
Ocean's Calling
On a beach of the virtual sea
I sang of the longing in my heart,
for the friendship and love
of a companion to unravel and revel
in the mysteries of this life.
I sat in the shallows as the echoes
of my earnest supplication faded,
the waves lapping at my feet
in promissory consolation.
I sang of the longing in my heart,
for the friendship and love
of a companion to unravel and revel
in the mysteries of this life.
I sat in the shallows as the echoes
of my earnest supplication faded,
the waves lapping at my feet
in promissory consolation.
From the depths of the virtual sea
her liquid voice rose up to me
and I listened in stunned disbelief
to her captivating, lyrical song,
wavering dream-like, as if it came
from lost Atlantis herself.
And as the last notes faded,
her melody played on in my heart.
I gazed into the virtual sea
and saw the dichotomy of her being,
two goddesses in one glorious incarnation:
Athena, defending those in need
with strength and erudite wisdom,
and Aphrodite, born of the sea,
love and beauty personified.
I am set adrift, mesmerized,
I am borne into the virtual sea
to where Beauty shimmers.
Is she real, or a heavenly
reflection in this undulating mirror,
poised to flee from those
who dare disturb her visage?
Will my touch meet the one
Fate has destined for me,
or dispel the illusion
of this bitter-sweet dream?
Compelled to know,
I extend my hand ...
Sunday, April 08, 2007
The Length and Breadth of Sorrow
The length and breadth of sorrow reflects the depth of love. The grieving would be less, if the love had been less, or perhaps if the attachment had been of a shallow sort. The trick in this life, the best trick, is to love deeply and to love big, without getting stuck. Good luck with that one. (If you know anything about astrology, I can shorthand this for you with one phrase: I'm a Cancer. So now you know the way I love.)
It is of some comfort to label the painful emotions by their names and attempt to let them pass like clouds on a windy day . . .oh, but when one's wind ceases and doldrums remain for weeks, or months, or longer, what then? When the clouds just sit there, taunting, raining and raining, teasing with spells of dry weather, then pouring rain on one's parade again and again, what then?
The answer, my friends, is not blowin' in the wind. (There isn't any wind, remember?) The answer is: I don't know. All I know is: it still hurts.
There was another poem read at the meditation retreat yesterday, and I laughed at it. I laughed at its TRUTH, shouting at me. Though it needn't have shouted, it was helpful to hear, and I didn't mind the volume. If it hadn't shouted, perhaps I wouldn't have listened. If only listening would ease the pain . . .
~Rumi
It is of some comfort to label the painful emotions by their names and attempt to let them pass like clouds on a windy day . . .oh, but when one's wind ceases and doldrums remain for weeks, or months, or longer, what then? When the clouds just sit there, taunting, raining and raining, teasing with spells of dry weather, then pouring rain on one's parade again and again, what then?
The answer, my friends, is not blowin' in the wind. (There isn't any wind, remember?) The answer is: I don't know. All I know is: it still hurts.
There was another poem read at the meditation retreat yesterday, and I laughed at it. I laughed at its TRUTH, shouting at me. Though it needn't have shouted, it was helpful to hear, and I didn't mind the volume. If it hadn't shouted, perhaps I wouldn't have listened. If only listening would ease the pain . . .
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest-house.
some momentary awareness comes
~Rumi
Saturday, April 07, 2007
I Tasted a Cloud (a poem)
Today I received
a most amazing gift.
I tasted a cloud in my vegetable soup.
The cloud, which made the rain,
which fell on the rich brown fields,
which watered the seeds,
which became the meal,
I brought to my lips today.
Today I received
a most amazing gift.
I tasted the sun in my bread.
The sun, which shone brightly
onto the rich brown fields,
which warmed the seeds,
which became the manna,
I fed to my body today.
Today I received,
a most amazing gift.
I tasted the tears in my food.
The tears, which fell poignantly
onto the rich brown fields,
and joined rivers of sorrow over time,
and flowed into the ocean,
in which I washed myself today.
Today I received
a most amazing gift.
I tasted the joy in my repast.
Joy, which burst through the sadness,
drying the rich brown fields,
balancing the sorrow over time,
that living things could grow,
and nourish at this blessed table.
a most amazing gift.
I tasted a cloud in my vegetable soup.
The cloud, which made the rain,
which fell on the rich brown fields,
which watered the seeds,
which became the meal,
I brought to my lips today.
Today I received
a most amazing gift.
I tasted the sun in my bread.
The sun, which shone brightly
onto the rich brown fields,
which warmed the seeds,
which became the manna,
I fed to my body today.
Today I received,
a most amazing gift.
I tasted the tears in my food.
The tears, which fell poignantly
onto the rich brown fields,
and joined rivers of sorrow over time,
and flowed into the ocean,
in which I washed myself today.
Today I received
a most amazing gift.
I tasted the joy in my repast.
Joy, which burst through the sadness,
drying the rich brown fields,
balancing the sorrow over time,
that living things could grow,
and nourish at this blessed table.
Beautiful gifts from other voices . . .(poems)
I don't usually post the work of others here, as this is primarily a place for my own heart to overflow and spill onto the screen. Today I attended a meditation retreat, and these two poems were read. They were such gifts, that I want to share them here . . .
Tripping Over Joy
What is the difference
Between your experience of Existence
And that of a saint?
The saint knows
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God
And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move
That the saint is now continually
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter
And saying, “I Surrender!”
Whereas, my dear,
I am afraid you still think
You have a thousand serious moves.
~Hafiz
Kindness
Tripping Over Joy
What is the difference
Between your experience of Existence
And that of a saint?
The saint knows
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God
And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move
That the saint is now continually
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter
And saying, “I Surrender!”
Whereas, my dear,
I am afraid you still think
You have a thousand serious moves.
~Hafiz
Kindness
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.
~Naomi Shihab Nye
Friday, April 06, 2007
The Sprouting Heart (a poem)
At the end of the halcyon days,
came spring,
came spring.
The moon, though beautiful,
set at last,
and the sun warmed my earth.
The small and fragile seed
planted itself,
planted itself.
The weeds, though persistent,
and also beautiful,
yielded to a fresh and hopeful green.
And finally it was heard,
the Truth,
the Truth.
The heart, though watery,
whispered, hushed,
"I just want to Be, myself."
came spring,
came spring.
The moon, though beautiful,
set at last,
and the sun warmed my earth.
The small and fragile seed
planted itself,
planted itself.
The weeds, though persistent,
and also beautiful,
yielded to a fresh and hopeful green.
And finally it was heard,
the Truth,
the Truth.
The heart, though watery,
whispered, hushed,
"I just want to Be, myself."
Monday, April 02, 2007
The Heart Knows (a poem)
When, my love,
does the heart know?
When it freezes drops of water
into ladybug-sized diamonds on diminutive branches?
When does the heart know?
When it laughs into the 'morrow,
when it laughs into darkness,
when it smiles on another burst of light?
The heart knows when to run,
and as the web of us was woven
you vanished in mid-spin,
weaving a life of alone.
When does the heart know?
When it cowers at the thought
of the chance to fly,
fearful it could never soar with grace?
does the heart know?
When it freezes drops of water
into ladybug-sized diamonds on diminutive branches?
When does the heart know?
When it laughs into the 'morrow,
when it laughs into darkness,
when it smiles on another burst of light?
The heart knows when to run,
and as the web of us was woven
you vanished in mid-spin,
weaving a life of alone.
When does the heart know?
When it cowers at the thought
of the chance to fly,
fearful it could never soar with grace?
Monday, March 05, 2007
Where is my poem?
The day you said you had to go,
we stood at my door and looked into eyes,
which had been windows to god,
in bed and out, for many months.
Our elixir, incapable of ingestion by many,
open-eyed prayer of intimacy created together,
shared with joy and peace.
I let you see, I opened.
From behind your strong walls,
I heard your words,
and through your smile and kind eyes,
"I can't wait to write a poem for you."
Words that didn't come
when we were lovers,
still haven't,
and I suppose they never will.
we stood at my door and looked into eyes,
which had been windows to god,
in bed and out, for many months.
Our elixir, incapable of ingestion by many,
open-eyed prayer of intimacy created together,
shared with joy and peace.
I let you see, I opened.
From behind your strong walls,
I heard your words,
and through your smile and kind eyes,
"I can't wait to write a poem for you."
Words that didn't come
when we were lovers,
still haven't,
and I suppose they never will.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
I Don't Know About That (a song)
All I know right now,
is crazy as it seems, somehow,
I found you in an ocean of words.
I like the way you say my name,
and the way you frame-
simple thoughts into paintings.
Maybe there's a sunrise here,
if I chase away the fear,
of opening to this light again.
And maybe there's nothing there,
but did you laugh, I could swear-
a flash of recognition.
I've heard what you've said,
and falling into bed with you,
would be so easy now-
but caution is a friend,
and as I begin again
I can't say where this goes.
Make the choice to run away
as night spins into day
shut the door before it opens wide
but I don't know about that
yes it would be better
avoid all stormy weather
take shelter while I can-
but I don't know,
I don't know about that.
Whispers on the sea
has love come to find me?
I tried to hide but only so long~
My life of only one,
had really just begun,
should I release my hold and let go?
Maybe there's a chance,
to start another dance,
with new music, I've never heard before~
Balancing is hard,
maybe I won't fall too far-
is that a net you're holding?
I hear what you're saying,
the games we won't be playing,
this could be so easy now-
but I don't know about that
caution is a friend,
as I begin again,
if she who hesitates is lost
I won't stop to count the cost
But I don't know,
I don't know about that.
is crazy as it seems, somehow,
I found you in an ocean of words.
I like the way you say my name,
and the way you frame-
simple thoughts into paintings.
Maybe there's a sunrise here,
if I chase away the fear,
of opening to this light again.
And maybe there's nothing there,
but did you laugh, I could swear-
a flash of recognition.
I've heard what you've said,
and falling into bed with you,
would be so easy now-
but caution is a friend,
and as I begin again
I can't say where this goes.
Make the choice to run away
as night spins into day
shut the door before it opens wide
but I don't know about that
yes it would be better
avoid all stormy weather
take shelter while I can-
but I don't know,
I don't know about that.
Whispers on the sea
has love come to find me?
I tried to hide but only so long~
My life of only one,
had really just begun,
should I release my hold and let go?
Maybe there's a chance,
to start another dance,
with new music, I've never heard before~
Balancing is hard,
maybe I won't fall too far-
is that a net you're holding?
I hear what you're saying,
the games we won't be playing,
this could be so easy now-
but I don't know about that
caution is a friend,
as I begin again,
if she who hesitates is lost
I won't stop to count the cost
But I don't know,
I don't know about that.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
My Brand New Day (a song)
In and out
forward and back
up and down,
as a matter of fact,
days like this
I just wanna shout
Get out
of my mind
stay away from my heart
can't you let me
make a brand new start?
Spin around
fall down
skin my heart on the ground
but there's a way
and I'll fly free
put the sad behind me
A rainbow
appears in my sky
time to dry my eyes
haven't lost much anyway,
Here comes my brand new day!
Fall far, fall fast
gonna let go of my past
with you
without you, too
Stand up
reach high
stop asking
questions that my life
won't answer anyway
won't answer me anyway
Begin again
step back in
wade in the river of life
so swift
the current takes me
to my ocean of now.
Spin around
fall down
skin my heart on the ground
but there's a way
I'll fly free
put the sad behind me
A rainbow
appears in my sky
time to dry my eyes
haven't lost much anyway,
Here comes my brand new day!
forward and back
up and down,
as a matter of fact,
days like this
I just wanna shout
Get out
of my mind
stay away from my heart
can't you let me
make a brand new start?
Spin around
fall down
skin my heart on the ground
but there's a way
and I'll fly free
put the sad behind me
A rainbow
appears in my sky
time to dry my eyes
haven't lost much anyway,
Here comes my brand new day!
Fall far, fall fast
gonna let go of my past
with you
without you, too
Stand up
reach high
stop asking
questions that my life
won't answer anyway
won't answer me anyway
Begin again
step back in
wade in the river of life
so swift
the current takes me
to my ocean of now.
Spin around
fall down
skin my heart on the ground
but there's a way
I'll fly free
put the sad behind me
A rainbow
appears in my sky
time to dry my eyes
haven't lost much anyway,
Here comes my brand new day!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Dreams on the Wind (a song)
A word from the wind at the window pane,
whispered to give you the news,
that in the heart, if one listens sharp
are found all your Beautiful Truths.
More love than could ever be wanted,
tender touch and companionship rare,
like dragonflies flying spring dances,
your dreams take to shimmering air.
And this life of alone that you're thinking,
is the only one held in your hand,
if your ear to the earth can't reveal,
then perhaps heart and patience, they can.
So the sky that comes next waits so sweetly
because it can know what we can't
and the wind that caresses your future
whispers take off your shoes now and dance.
More love than could ever be wanted,
more touch and companionship rare,
like dragonflies flying spring dances,
your dreams take to shimmering air.
whispered to give you the news,
that in the heart, if one listens sharp
are found all your Beautiful Truths.
More love than could ever be wanted,
tender touch and companionship rare,
like dragonflies flying spring dances,
your dreams take to shimmering air.
And this life of alone that you're thinking,
is the only one held in your hand,
if your ear to the earth can't reveal,
then perhaps heart and patience, they can.
So the sky that comes next waits so sweetly
because it can know what we can't
and the wind that caresses your future
whispers take off your shoes now and dance.
More love than could ever be wanted,
more touch and companionship rare,
like dragonflies flying spring dances,
your dreams take to shimmering air.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Prayer Flags (a poem)
The sun dappled the earth
and I stood there, trembling.
letting go is so tricky,
the timing matters so much.
I stood there in the morning light,
light which once caressed
our morning bodies
as we made love on your bed.
Holding prayer flags in my mouth
so I could use my whole being to gain height,
I rose with effort to the uppermost limbs
and paused to look over the landscape of my heart.
Viewing the crater left by your loving,
I estimated it would take some time
to fill in, for new seeds to take root,
but eventually, flora would thrive again.
With effort, I rose higher into the tree,
the tree I knew it was time to climb --
and, tears falling from my face
but with the same tenacity
with which I love you, I freed myself.
I tied the flags, the wind took them,
fluttering colors of strong and enduring wanting,
colors of the taste of your mouth and the smell of your skin,
the sky matched your eyes.
I prayed my prayers,
please take him,
please take him.
The wind heard me
and in an instant, my heart unclenched
opened to the sky, prayers flew to God,
that I could breathe again.
and I stood there, trembling.
letting go is so tricky,
the timing matters so much.
I stood there in the morning light,
light which once caressed
our morning bodies
as we made love on your bed.
Holding prayer flags in my mouth
so I could use my whole being to gain height,
I rose with effort to the uppermost limbs
and paused to look over the landscape of my heart.
Viewing the crater left by your loving,
I estimated it would take some time
to fill in, for new seeds to take root,
but eventually, flora would thrive again.
With effort, I rose higher into the tree,
the tree I knew it was time to climb --
and, tears falling from my face
but with the same tenacity
with which I love you, I freed myself.
I tied the flags, the wind took them,
fluttering colors of strong and enduring wanting,
colors of the taste of your mouth and the smell of your skin,
the sky matched your eyes.
I prayed my prayers,
please take him,
please take him.
The wind heard me
and in an instant, my heart unclenched
opened to the sky, prayers flew to God,
that I could breathe again.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Letting Go of the Beautiful and Rare
It's easy to let go of the sorrows and pain of the past. If one comes to any awareness in this life, if one spends any devoted time in meditation, the release of the ugly and difficult gets easier and easier. Let go of the pains of the past? Hell yes, sign me up. Motivation for that task is easy to come by.
But even on a serious and dedicated spiritual path, it's very easy to overlook the incredible importance of letting go of the rare and beautiful . . .where is the motivation for that? The rare and shimmering moments of our life are what make it worth remembering, yes? The sorrows and horrors of a life have some value in the remembering, but the sweet and beautiful memories suspend themselves in the sunlight of our consciousness like multi-facted gems . .. "oh, that one, I remember the depth of that color!" "Oh, look at that one, one of the most brightly shining of them all!" The memories melt again like the most luscious dark chocolate on our warm tongues . . .see? The mind and heart would like to add: tongues which used to touch with curious desire as the eyes opened to Light and closed to find Light within, the contact sending jolts of energy circulating between two human forms, from me to him to me to him to me . . .
It's much more difficult to let go what was rare and beautiful, to look one last time at those gems, and, with tears or without, cast them far into the wintery blue ocean of distant memory. It takes much love and faith to hold the fact that something beautiful will come again. Or to see that letting go is sometimes part of holding on. Or that through is the way home again. Without enough faith, one can't release.
It takes hard-won wisdom to know if we don't let go of what was, there simply can't be room for what is or what will be . . .the heart is huge, but in that way, in only that way, the heart is finite in its capacity to hold. Yes. There is only so much room at one time for present beauty. Rare and heart-opening moments come to us when the Universe detects there is room for another experience to fill the soul.
I am at the Letting Go Point and have been since last summer. I never said I was quick to let go, tenacity being one of my most powerful blessings and curses. And I need to work on the faith piece of the equation: Love + Faith + Releasing = Future Beauty. I have much love, beautiful sweet love---and I have successfully released what needed releasing.
I have enough faith to let go, but not enough to be unafraid I will never again touch or be touched the way I once was. Some religious traditions use the word faith as a verb. I like that. It feels more accurate, because it's something one does. I'm faithing, because I'm letting go while frightened to do so. And that's called courage and I know I have that.
But even on a serious and dedicated spiritual path, it's very easy to overlook the incredible importance of letting go of the rare and beautiful . . .where is the motivation for that? The rare and shimmering moments of our life are what make it worth remembering, yes? The sorrows and horrors of a life have some value in the remembering, but the sweet and beautiful memories suspend themselves in the sunlight of our consciousness like multi-facted gems . .. "oh, that one, I remember the depth of that color!" "Oh, look at that one, one of the most brightly shining of them all!" The memories melt again like the most luscious dark chocolate on our warm tongues . . .see? The mind and heart would like to add: tongues which used to touch with curious desire as the eyes opened to Light and closed to find Light within, the contact sending jolts of energy circulating between two human forms, from me to him to me to him to me . . .
It's much more difficult to let go what was rare and beautiful, to look one last time at those gems, and, with tears or without, cast them far into the wintery blue ocean of distant memory. It takes much love and faith to hold the fact that something beautiful will come again. Or to see that letting go is sometimes part of holding on. Or that through is the way home again. Without enough faith, one can't release.
It takes hard-won wisdom to know if we don't let go of what was, there simply can't be room for what is or what will be . . .the heart is huge, but in that way, in only that way, the heart is finite in its capacity to hold. Yes. There is only so much room at one time for present beauty. Rare and heart-opening moments come to us when the Universe detects there is room for another experience to fill the soul.
I am at the Letting Go Point and have been since last summer. I never said I was quick to let go, tenacity being one of my most powerful blessings and curses. And I need to work on the faith piece of the equation: Love + Faith + Releasing = Future Beauty. I have much love, beautiful sweet love---and I have successfully released what needed releasing.
I have enough faith to let go, but not enough to be unafraid I will never again touch or be touched the way I once was. Some religious traditions use the word faith as a verb. I like that. It feels more accurate, because it's something one does. I'm faithing, because I'm letting go while frightened to do so. And that's called courage and I know I have that.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Take Me to Your Darkness (a song)
Show me all your shadows as they stretch into noon,
the mystery of your longings on the far side of the moon,
brilliant flash of diamond, a spark of light in black,
let go of belief that you are never coming back.
Fall into the crevice and feel alive within,
the deep and unknown part of you, it's time to live again,
punish no one now, and leave all guilt behind,
take me to your darkness, a gift of life so kind.
Uncover wounds long ignored, time to heal now,
if blackness overtakes your sun, you'll rescue you somehow,
look the monster in the eye, and what you'll really find,
is the darkest part of love, don't leave it behind.
So lay your dark side at my feet-the whole of you, the taste so sweet,
obsidian sand on endless beach, a promised fall into the breach,
don't just want to see the sun, but the absence of it too,
take me to your darkness, I see the whole of you.
Take me to your darkness, I want to love the whole of you.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Another Stone To Trip Over (a song)
I know the time has come
to see the road and start to run,
To pull the rip cord and float free
to seek the land I know is me.
Another journey after all
the way I learn to love the fall,
that flippy stomach feeling now
and always there's a net somehow.
A walk in darkness, after light of day,
tripping over rocks in the way,
Can't we just lay in soft spring clover,
instead of finding one more stone to trip over?
Feel the way to dive within,
while we dance this dance again,
hands together or barely touch,
while we take the space we need so much.
I don't know, even though I'm smart,
what got broken in your heart,
that made you leave this pure white love,
I ask again and I look above.
Won't you open and let me in,
won't you let the healing begin?
I'll whisper in an ocean blue tone,
as I move another dangerous stone.
A walk in darkness, after light of day,
tripping over rocks in the way,
Can't we just lay in soft spring clover,
instead of finding one more stone to trip over?
Can't we rest in soft spring clover
instead of finding stones that we trip over?
to see the road and start to run,
To pull the rip cord and float free
to seek the land I know is me.
Another journey after all
the way I learn to love the fall,
that flippy stomach feeling now
and always there's a net somehow.
A walk in darkness, after light of day,
tripping over rocks in the way,
Can't we just lay in soft spring clover,
instead of finding one more stone to trip over?
Feel the way to dive within,
while we dance this dance again,
hands together or barely touch,
while we take the space we need so much.
I don't know, even though I'm smart,
what got broken in your heart,
that made you leave this pure white love,
I ask again and I look above.
Won't you open and let me in,
won't you let the healing begin?
I'll whisper in an ocean blue tone,
as I move another dangerous stone.
A walk in darkness, after light of day,
tripping over rocks in the way,
Can't we just lay in soft spring clover,
instead of finding one more stone to trip over?
Can't we rest in soft spring clover
instead of finding stones that we trip over?
Friday, January 19, 2007
Public Garden (a song)
Everything I thought as I first walked among these trees,
Everything I wondered as I watched the falling leaves,
And over there on that blue bridge my heart skipped at the view,
as you walked here to meet me and I saw that it was you.
Chorus:
A garden of my future
a garden of right now
that's the way I saw this place
but it looks different now
I walk alone as night falls all around me
but I'll never ever say that I was sorry
no, no, no.
Every step we took with your arm over my shoulder,
Everytime we kissed as this brand new love grew older,
And over there where we embraced after missing us so much,
when we breathed with two full hearts and I felt your sweet touch.
Chorus:
A garden of my future
a garden of right now
that's the way I saw this place
but it looks different now
I walk alone as dusk falls all around me
but I'll never ever say that I was sorry
no, no, no.
Everything I wondered as I watched the falling leaves,
And over there on that blue bridge my heart skipped at the view,
as you walked here to meet me and I saw that it was you.
Chorus:
A garden of my future
a garden of right now
that's the way I saw this place
but it looks different now
I walk alone as night falls all around me
but I'll never ever say that I was sorry
no, no, no.
Every step we took with your arm over my shoulder,
Everytime we kissed as this brand new love grew older,
And over there where we embraced after missing us so much,
when we breathed with two full hearts and I felt your sweet touch.
Chorus:
A garden of my future
a garden of right now
that's the way I saw this place
but it looks different now
I walk alone as dusk falls all around me
but I'll never ever say that I was sorry
no, no, no.
Monday, January 15, 2007
A Prayer Painted by God
I thirst for that which feeds my senses and my heart. When I imagine Odonata, I breathe a sigh at the homecoming. It's beautiful, with swooping roof lines and curving doorways, fascinating textures, a feast of colors, rich fragrances and smiling sounds. . .
I feel Odonata as a sanctuary, a spiritual community where one is blessed with the opportunity to practice giving and receiving love and care, every day. It will be a space created for the intentional nurturing and careful tending of the human spirit--where joys are doubled and sorrows are halved by the company we'll share.
Our surreoundings have a great effect upon us, upon our mental and emotional health, physical health, and spiritual health . . .this community will sweetly support and sustain every facet of the jewels we each are, and in doing so, will lift each of us upwards toward Light. It's important that we not underestimate the power of our physical surroundings upon us. Odonata will be the home of sacred spaces and blessed people, accompanying one another on our journeys in this precious life.
And Odonata will be a sweep of God's brush across the landscape, a prayer painted by God.
I feel Odonata as a sanctuary, a spiritual community where one is blessed with the opportunity to practice giving and receiving love and care, every day. It will be a space created for the intentional nurturing and careful tending of the human spirit--where joys are doubled and sorrows are halved by the company we'll share.
Our surreoundings have a great effect upon us, upon our mental and emotional health, physical health, and spiritual health . . .this community will sweetly support and sustain every facet of the jewels we each are, and in doing so, will lift each of us upwards toward Light. It's important that we not underestimate the power of our physical surroundings upon us. Odonata will be the home of sacred spaces and blessed people, accompanying one another on our journeys in this precious life.
And Odonata will be a sweep of God's brush across the landscape, a prayer painted by God.
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